Sharanam Ayappa...samiye sharanam

Sabarimala verdict:

I am born in Chennai, grew up in a predominantly telugu speaking household , married and settled in Karnataka.

Had not much interaction with kerala state, either in work area or in the family or friends area. Have a lot of Malayali friends, but I suppose like me, they are also more interested in living their day to day life than sit and ponder over their state or language or temples on a daily basis.

Till now…suddenly its kerala all over the news.  First it was the floods. Extremely bad and definitely needed and still needs all our attention to rebuild the society.

Then it was the sabarimala verdict.  

The day verdict was announced, I felt happy. Really happy. Now sabarimala can be accessed by me. That’s all I thought. People who know me, will know , I like temples. However they mistake that with traditionalism. Atleast, I have not claimed to be a traditionalist. I just do whatever was taught to me by my parents and follow the culture as much as I can. I have never fought for others to follow or even induced my kids into this routine.

I grew up in a predominantly male society , belonging to a particular sect, which gives more importance to alienation during periods. So, I was asked to sit in a corner, not touch anything , during my periods. Every single time, it was a torture.  Every time, I felt like some criminal. Every time , I felt the shame of having periods. It took a long time and thanks to my in-laws family, who never followed that, to get rid of the guilt attached to the most basic biological event of a female body. I really don’t understand the negative aspect of that. Infact if anything, it is cause for celebration. That is my personal view. Let us ignore that for now.

We are used to going to Tirupati. We go to all south temples. We never plan a journey during our monthly periods time. Even to a near by temple, we never go during our monthly periods time.

Now sabharimala is open to all. Irrespective of gender. Like any other temple. Like Tirupati, like kasha, like kanchi, like manasasarovar, like badarinath, like kedarnath. So, we will plan accordingly. We will never go in our periods. That is all there is to it.

I was reading some posts on fb, about the #wewillwait movement. I respect your personal opinion. Lots of people don’t visit temples, because of various reasons, economical, health wise, atheists, etc. Its their choice. They don’t start a movement.

I read  a post, which was widely circulated, saying, if women follow men in their pilgrimage, the man’s spiritual quest will get tainted. Isn’t this lady saying , akin to  saying , rape is women’s fault.

No one wants to disturb the tradition of the temple. If we cannot go through the 18 steps we wont. I have heard men, casually walking into the temple, without following the deeksha. They do get darshan from another side. (its all hear say for me. I never had the opportunity to check it out) We can do that. Ladies who cannot follow the 40 days deeksha can definitely go around and see The Lord.

As a woman, who has first hand experienced the guilt and shame of having monthly periods, always being told that touching me during those days, would make the others impure, I really feel joyed by this verdict.

kaikeyi the warrior queen

Kaikeyi the Warrior queen

I went for this dance drama. Rama Katha, by sathyanarayana raju. He gave a solo performance on Ramayana. The dancer is very accomplished and he enacted the role of Ahalya, Manthara, and Hanuman with finesse and such perfection that I was momentarily transported to the kingdoms of Ayodhya and Lanka. Then some thoughts stuck me. I want to discuss these with you. You will have to critically view my thoughts. Let me tell you before,  that for the purpose of this discussion,  I am not considering Rama as God here. I am seeing him here as a mere individual who is loved exceedingly by his mothers and father. 

Kaikeyi, who is the protaganist of this discussion, is a warrior queen. Passionate and beautiful. She got a good match with Dasaratha. He was older to her by many many years, but he compensated that with extreme love for her. As a woman, Kaikeyi wanted only love from her husband. She not only got her share among wives, but definitely got more than that. She was loved by Dasaratha for her beauty and more so after she saved him from a war. She did everything she could, to get more and more love from Dasaratha. So much so, that when Rama was born, and Dasaratha was elated with joy, she loved Rama more than her own son. The love she showed Rama, was more to please Dasaratha. However.Rama, as a recipient of the love from Kaikeyi, he loved her more than his mother too. Did Kaikeyi notice this or not? We do not know. But one thing is clear from the events that occured, that she could not see the depth of Rama's filial piety.

What happened when Rama and Lakshmana, followed dutily with Sage Vishwamitra to protect his Yagna? What were the events in Ayodhya? One can only guess that Dasaratha, in the absence of Rama would have gone back to loving his beloved wife, Kaikeyi more. Now all the more, he could discuss Rama with her. He truly believed that she loved Rama, maybe even more than him. Any parent would love to discuss about their children, their accomplishments, not as to vainly boast about them, but in a manner that would make their hearts swell with pride. Now that addiction is difficult to get rid of. More so, if you have a son like Rama. Maybe you would want to thank god, every second of your life, about how blessed one is, to beget a son like Rama. As Kaikeyi, was receiving this attention back from Dasaratha, was she thinking, that absence of Rama, was giving her more benefits than his presence? One can only guess. Maybe she was getting a taste of life without Rama, which she had not imagined existed. 

As a passionate person, she would do anything to increase the love her husband has for her, or cause astir, to get his attention. This was exactly her state of mind, when Manthara approached her. She was still not coherent enough to get the words out of her thoughts, but definitely had a different state of mind. This new Kaikeyi, did not love Rama , but was using him to get more attention from Dasaratha. This new Kaikeyi, did not want Rama to be main reason that Dasaratha loved her. She had seen the shift in affections, and did not like it. Manthara was only giving her a plan, but the goal was already decided by Kaikeyi. Though she did not accept Manthara words initially, it should be noted that it did not take much persuasion from Manthra to disturb her mood and agree to the action. Then what followed is just a drama by the woman, who knows what she wants, and knows how to get what she wants.

Every passionate woman has kaikeyi in her. Yes she wants the full attention of her lover, her worshiper, her God. She wants it so much that it unltimately destroys her and her lover itself. Kausalya and Sumitra were not so much affected by the love Dasaratha had for Rama. They were themselves genuinely in love with Rama. They got their share of attention from Rama. They were immersed in it. Kaikeyi got the same share, but since her cup was already full with Dasaratha love, she could not appreciate it. We are also similar. We keep seeking love, again and again at the same place. We are scared to look for alternatives. We want to keep digging the same ground for water. We should see the other places once in a while. Maybe there is more love available than we can ask for, in other relationships. Had Kaikeyi seen the love Rama had for her, or at least gauged the filial piety Rama was showing, she would have not taken this course? Of course, Rama was born to destroy Ravana. He would have done that. But in that process, Kaikeyi would have not been branded as an evil person.

Shirdi- The first journey

Travel and journeys are the way the world was discovered. One cannot say, I will achieve anything I want sitting on my couch. So it is not surprising that we want to travel. We want to wander and we want to seek peace while doing so.

My passion for travelling has always been associated with temples. For better or worse, pilgrimages were the only travel that I was taken to as a kid. Was that because I had older parents, or because I was from a conservative family, I dont know. I enjoyed my sojourns very much. It was a nice way to travel especially with a very religious father, and well learned one at that.

So, it became a natural extension for me, to put passion in the travels that lead to temples. One such travel, that is so close to my heart is the yearly pligrimage to Shirdi.

The two factors that contribute to its awesomeness is the fact that , one ofcourse it is very far away from home. And secondly it is done with friends.

It has become a kind of getaway from the family, and get into a space, where we are deviod of any form of pretense and stress.

The usual plan which has worked now for a few years, is get into a flight and reach pune. Take a taxi and go to shiridi. We have been booking internet tickets before hand, and so we are able to get good darshan. Book a place to stay. Then we take a taxi to see any other important pilgrimages close by. The definite being Shani shringnapur, and Ashtavinayak temple at Ranjangoan.

The other places that you can definitely visit would be the Nasik Triambakeshwar, Bhimshankar and all Ashtavinayak temples.